Day 4: Love is Thoughtful

Love is Thoughtful

How precious also are your thoughts to me....

How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them,

they would outnumber the sand---Psalm 139:17-18

Love Thinks. It keeps busy in thought, knowing that loving thoughts precede loving actions. When you first fell in love, being thoughtful came quiet naturally. You spent hours dreaming of what your loved one looked like, wondering what he or she is doing, rehearsing impressive things to say, then enjoying sweet memories of the time you spent together.You honestly confessed,"I can't stop thinking about you".

But for most couples, things begin to change. The girl finally has her man; the boy has his trophy. The hunt is over and the pursuing is done. Sparks of romance slowly burn away and the motivation for thoughtfulness cools. You drift into focusing on your job, your friends, your problems, yourself. After a while, you unintentionally begin to ignore the needs of your mate. But the fact that relationship has added another person to your universe does not change. Therefore, if your thinking doesn't mature enough to constantly include that person, you catch yourself being surprised rather than being thoughtful.

If you don't learn to be thoughtful, you end up regretting missed opportunities to demonstrate love. Men struggle with thoughtfulness more than women. A man can focus like a laser on one thing and forget the rest of the world whereas, this can benefit him in that one arena, it can make him overlook the other things that need his attention.

A woman on the other hand, is more multi-conscious, able to maintain an amazing awareness of many factors at once. A woman also thinks rationally. She is cognizant of all the people who are somehow connected to it. As God said," It is not good for man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him".

Men tend to think in headlines and say exactly what they mean. But women think and speak between the lines. They tend to hint. A man has to listen for what is implied if he wants to get the full meaning. If a couple doesn't understand this about one another, the fallout can result in endless disagreements. A woman deeply longs for her man to be thoughtful. It is a key to helping her feel loved.

This also explains why women get upset with their men without telling them why, At the same time, he's grieved because he can't read her mind and wonders why he's being punished for a crime he didn't know he committed.

Love requires thoughtfulness---the kind that builds bridges through the constructive combination of paitence, kindness, and selfishness. Love teaches you how to meet in the middle, to respect and appreciate how your spouse uniquely thinks. The thoughtful nature of love reaches you to engage your mind before engaging your lips. Love thinks before speaking. It filters words through a grid of truth and kindness. Remember a great relationship comes from great thinking.

Today's Dare

Contact Your Spouse Sometime during the Day. Have No Agenda

Other Than Asking How he or she is doing And If she OR he needs

Anything That You Could Do for THEM....

Day 3:Love is not Selfish

Love is not Selfish

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love;

Give preference to one another in honor---Romans 12:10

   We live in a world that is enamored with “self”. The goal, it seems, is to chase the highest level of happiness possible. The danger from this kind of thinking, however, becomes painfully apparent once inside a relationship. If there were ever a word that basically means the opposite of love, it is selfishness. Unfortunately, it is something that is ingrained into every person from birth. Almost every sinful action ever committed can be traced back to selfish motive. It is a trait we hate in other people but justify in ourselves.

   One ironic aspect of selfishness is that even generous actions can be selfish if the motive is to gain bragging rights or receive rewards. The bottom line is that you either make decisions out of love for others or love for yourself. Love is never satisfied except in the welfare of others. You can’t be acting out of real love and selfishness at the same time. Love also leads to inner joy. When you prioritize there is a resulting fulfillment that cannot be duplicated by selfish actions. This is the benefit that God created and reserves for those who genuinely demonstrate love.  The truth is, when you relinquish your rights for the sake of your mate, you get a chance to lose yourself to a greater purpose.

   Whether you like it or not, you have a reputation in the eyes of those around you. Remember, your mate also has the challenge of loving a selfish person. So determine to be the first to demonstrate real love to them, with your eyes wide open. And when all is said and done, you’ll both be more fulfilled.

“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves”(Philippians 2:3).

Today’s Dare

WHATEVER YOU PUT YOUR TIME, ENERGY, AND

MONEY INTO WILL BECOME MORE IMPORTANT

TO YOU. IT’S HARD TO CARE FOR SOMETHING

YPU ARE NOT INVESTIGATING IN. ALONG WITH

RESTRAINING FROM NEGATIVE COMMENTS,

BUY SOMETHING FOR YOUR MATE THAT SAYS,

“I WAS THINKING OF YOU TODAY”.

Day 2: Love is Kind

Love is Kind

Be kind to one another,tender-hearted,forgiving each other,

just as God in Christ also has forgiven you---Ephesians 4:32

Kindness is love in action. Kindness is how love acts to maximize a positive circumstance. Patience avoids a problem; kindness creates a blessing. One is preventive, the other proactive. Love makes you kind. And kindness makes you likable. When you're kind, people want to be around you. They see you as being good to them and good for them.The Bible keys in on the importance of kindness:"Do not let kindness and truth leave you;bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor and good repute in the sight of God and man"(Proverbs 3:3-4). Kind people simply find favor wherever they go. But "kindness" can feel a little generic when you try defining it, much less living it. So now we can break kindness into four core ingredients:

Gentleness. When you're operating from kindness, you're careful how you treat other people, never being unnecessarily harsh. You're sensitive. Tender. Even if you need to say hard things, you'll bend over backwards to make you rebuke or challenge as easy to hear as possible. You speak the truth in love.

Helpfulness. Being kind means you meet the needs of the moment. If it's work you get busy, and if its a listening ear, you give it.

Willingness. Kindness inspires you to be agreeable. A kind person ends thousands of potential arguments by the willingness to listen first rather than demand his or her way.

Initiative. Kindness thinks ahead, then takes the first step. When acting from kindness, you see the need, then make your move. First.

It is difficult to demonstrate love when you feel little to no motivation. But love in its truest sense is not based on feelings. Rather, love determines to show thoughtful actions even when there seems to be no reward. You will never learn to love until you learn to demonstrate kindness.

Today's Dare

IN ADDITION TO SAYING NOTHING NEGATIVE TO YOUR FRIEND AGAIN TODAY,

DO AT LEAST ONE UNEXPECTED GESTURE AS AN ACT OF KINDNESS.

Day 1:Love is Patient

                                       Love is Patient

         Be completely humble and gentle,be patient,bearing with one another in love.---Ephesians 4:2

Love works. It is life's most powerful motivator and has far greater depth and meaning than most people realize. It always does what is best for others and can empower us to face the greatest of problems. We are born with a lifelong thirst for love. Love changes our motivation for living. Relationship become meaningful with it. No marriage is successful without it.
Love is built on two pillars that best defines what it is. Those pillars are patience and kindness. Love will inspire you to become a patient person. You are slow to anger. Patience brings an internal calm during an external storm. No one likes to be around an impatient person. It causes you to overreact in angry, foolish and regrettable ways. Anger almost never makes things better. But patience stops problems in their tracks. It stops foolishness from whipping out its scorpion tail all over the room. It is a choice to control. It is usually the caused when the strong desire for something is mixed with disappointment or grief.
Patience, however, makes us wise. It doesn't rush to judgement but listens. It stands in the doorway where anger is clawing to burst in. The Bible says,"He who is slow to anger has great understanding but he who is quick-tempered exalts folly".(Proverbs 14:29)
The practice of patience will foster peace and quiet."A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but the slow to anger calms a dispute"(Proverbs 15:8). Patience is where love meets wisdom. It helps you to give the other person permission to be human. It understands that everyone fails. It gives you the ability to hold on during the tough times in ones relationship rather than bailing out under pressure.
This Love Dare journey is a process and the first thing you must resolve is to possess patience. Think of this as a marathon and remember that its a race worth running for the people you love and cherish.

Today's Dare

THE FIRST PART OF THIS DARE IS FAIRLY SIMPLE. ALTHOUGH LOVE IS COMMUNICATED IN A NUMBER OF WAYS, OUR WORDS OFTEN REFLECT THE CONDITION OF OUR HEARTS. FOR THE NEXT DAY, RESOLVE TO DEMONSTRATE PATIENCE AND TO SAY NOTHING NEGATIVE, IF THE TEMPTATION ARISES, CHOOSE NOT TO SAY ANYTHING. IT'S BETTER TO HOLD YOUR TONGUE THAN TO SAY SOMETHING YOU'LL REGRET.